Dear Debbie,
You knew, didn't you! August 2011, you were in the shower and noticed your big right toe wiggling, ever so slightly, but indeed it was wiggling! Over the next few months you noticed it wiggling intermittently and you weren't doing anything to make it move. The wiggling became more consistent but just in the shower. It couldn't mean anything. Or could it?
August 2012 – your 65th birthday gift was a week in New York City with your two adult daughters! It was your last day there; you striding down 5th Avenue, the girls straggling behind, when one called out, "Hey Mom, you're not moving your right arm!" You were horrified when you realized they saw what you didn't even feel! That was the first wake up call to the possibility that this could indeed be "something."
The window panes to the past were becoming less cloudy. The call to your family doctor, a referral, and confirmation from the neurologist that this was indeed Parkinson's disease, opened the window wide, and whoosh – reality swept in. Your mother and her twin sister, and now you. And more recently, your younger sister!
Your mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1964 at the age of 55. We call that young onset now – there was no category for her then. Or access to effective medication. Or support groups. Besides owning a business and being very engaged in community events, staying active and fit was always a priority for her. She stretched daily on the living room floor, walked everywhere, and golfed 5 times a week.
She kept her diagnosis from you and your sister for the first few years and by the time she and your dad broke the news, you already suspected that something was wrong. You were 17, your sister 15. Way too young to process the implications of her future. Or yours. And way too young to ask questions and pay closer attention. That lingering regret has settled on your shoulders.
After retirement in 2004 and a move to Kelowna, where the weather was so much more amenable to year-round outdoor activities, you hit the trails embracing every opportunity to explore your new environment. You even joined the Senior Centre for exercise classes. Admit it girl – you choked on the label 'senior' but it turned out the classes were fun, varied, and challenging. You eagerly embraced the "active everyday" lifestyle. How could you have realized that those years would carry you forward and prepare you for the challenges yet to come.
Back to that wiggling toe. A couple of months after diagnosis you noticed a little note in the Community Events column of the local newspaper, of a Parkinson Support Group meeting in a local church hall. 7:00 pm. Envisioning about a dozen people gathered in a semi-circle chatting about their problems, you and your husband Garry showed up at 6:55 pm to a hall already filled with at least 60 people. You were warmly welcomed at the door, introduced to the large crowd, and given a brochure from Parkinson Society BC. The rest is... the rest of your life! Keep going girl!
With love, grit, and acceptance,
Debbie